An Ex-Girlfriend and The Lion King

Posted by Elliott Connie - March 31, 2019 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

Way back before streaming services allowed us to watch any movie at any time, a lot of people collected movies. In this video I share a powerful lesson I learned from watching Disney’s The Lion King with an ex-girlfriend. 


I am a huge believer in using videos to master solution
focused brief therapy. I think one of the best ways, if not the single best way
to master the language of solution focused brief therapy is to watch session
content as frequently and as often as possible. In some cases in my career, in
the early days when I was learning solution focused therapy, I traveled all the
way to the UK just to sit and watch people do solution focused brief therapy.
But let me tell you exactly why and why I think everybody walked in. This video
is conditioned to learn solution focused brief therapy simply by watching it.
So when I was in college, I was dating this girl named Erin. She was the very
first like love, love, love of my life. The first person I ever thought I was
going to marry ever. M e and Erin were very close during my undergraduate years
when I was 17 1819 years old.

And she, you know, this is before Netflix and things like
that where you can stream movies. She had this huge collection of Disney movies
and she used to love, love, love, love the movie lion king. So every day during
the summer I would go over Erin’s house and we would sit and watch the lion
king over and over and over again. And as a super cool macho guy, the last
thing I wanted to do was watch a cartoon, but as a guy who really liked a girl,
I want to do impress her. So I would sit and watch this movie every single day.
Now just by watching the movie, like the language of the movie got embedded
into my brain. So now I can see a scene and just recount the entire movie.
We’re this way with songs like how many of you watching this video can hear a
one note of a song and then boom, the whole song comes into your head.

There’s actually a game show hosted by Jamie Foxx where
they just play one note of a song. You have to guess the rest of the song. Like
you’re, you just get the language kind of interview or the same thing happens
in solution focused brief therapy. Like, imagine if you’re sitting in a session
and you just kind of know the next note. You just kind of know the next words,
not because you’re predicting what the client will say, but you just feel it
and it’s a part of you. So the building of question just becomes a natural
process in the session, which is very different to just knowing the techniques.
And that’s why it’s so important to get your hands on video content and
watching it repetitively with repetition because then you just master the
language of solution focused brief therapy, and that’s when you’re at your
best.

And that’s when there’s magic here. The truth is this
approach is about building the next question. It’s not about the techniques,
it’s about the question. And it’s about the way we built the next question. So
it’s so important that when you’re doing this, you take on the language and you
match the language. One of the best ways to do that is to watch video content.
So I hope this video is helpful as usual. Never, never forget that you’re
always just one question away from making a difference in someone’s life.
Please subscribe to my channel like this video. Head on over to
elliottconnie.com. If you’re watching this video someplace else, uh, and I will
see you in the next video. Leave a comment. I love hearing what your thoughts
are. What movie do you remember that you can recount the whole words to? What
Song do you hear? And you just go, oh, that’s my song. And you jump up and go.
Like, that’s, if you can get solution focus into you in the same way that we
get music and, and music lyrics and, and movie lines into us. Now we’re really
mastering the approach. Now we’re really talking. So thank you so much for
watching this video. Leave a comment like share and subscribe and I’ll see you
in the next video.

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