Staying Hopeful

Posted by Elliott Connie - July 7, 2019 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

We are living in an era when staying hopeful can be a challenge. In fact, almost on a daily basis I come across some news or story that serves as evidence of how cruel humans can be towards one another. In this video I talk about how to stay hopeful and why it matters.


I’ve been having a, a really, um, kind of deep thought
within myself for the past a little bit here. Um, it’s been challenging. Right.
So I’m gonna I want to ask you a question. The question I want to ask you is,
what are you doing to keep your, your, uh, belief in people alive? And I, let
me tell you kind of what I mean by that. So recently, just past couple of days,
I saw in the news that, um, there was a, um, a new story about, about the
little mermaid. They’re gonna rerelease some sort of live action show or
whatever it is. And the lead character they had chosen was a brown skinned
woman. And, uh, a bunch of people were just completely up in arms about it. And
the way I found out found out about this, I mean, I don’t care who plays a
little mermaid, that stuff is so far off my radar.

I can’t even tell you. Uh, but I logged onto Facebook and
one of the most vile disgusting memes I’ve ever seen. Uh, with, uh, Ariel being
depicted with stereotypically exaggerated African-American features, uh,
propped up on a watermelon and instead of a, a seashell. And I was appalled and
if I can be honest with you, uh, this is not new or unique. I’ve been this
appalled, um, before, and I’ve been this appalled recently and I feel my kind
of belief in people and humanity taking a hit, like, like I can feel it, you
know, I struggle with it, um, given some of the things that have happened in
recent times. Um, but it’s really important to me that I counterbalanced that
and that I sit and remember, you know, the, that the, the good pitch. Cause
social media might make those negative interactions more in my face and even
louder.

It doesn’t mean that they are, uh, that those people out
number the goodness. And it doesn’t mean that human beings inherently are not
good or certain like capable of good. It doesn’t mean that that’s not the best
of people. And the reason why I think this is so important is because if you’re
going to practice psychotherapy, if you’re going to be a solution focused,
brief therapist in particularly like you really have to believe that people are
inherently good, capable of change and desirous of being their better selves.
Um, that’s a really important thing. So that’s why I want to ask you, like what
do you do to hold on that to that belief when the world throws all of these,
uh, negative things at you to try and convince you that human beings are
something other than good? I think I want to share this because I think people,
I mean, I get emails and messages all the time and I think people just think I
walk around with this naturally positive, optimistic nature and, and, um, way
of going about myself.

And the truth is, you know, I’m good friends, a guy named
Bill O’Hanlon who has described me as psychopathic, really optimistic and you
know, and it’s true. I’m very proud of that actually. But I do want you to know
that that takes work. And here in the social media era, when we live in these
times where our differences are highlighted more than our similarities, we’re
our mistakes go viral and not our awesomeness where our flaws, uh, somehow get
a bigger microphone than our superhero traits. Um, you know, I, I’ve been
kicked in the stomach by, by some of these things. I mean, as a record this now
you got this like feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I spend my day, um,
well just thinking about all the wonderful people that I’ve met throughout my,
my work and all of the people who have allowed me the pleasure of being their
therapist and being present as they work to change their lives and overcome
their flaws and become their, their better selves.

And I, and I, I sit and purposely seek out the amazingness
that human beings are. I actually keep a folder of all of the wonderful emails
and supportive, uh, interactions that people have sent me in and it’s time like
this and I go read them. And it reminds me that the human spirit is, is good
and worth fighting for. And in doing so that I have a responsibility to make
sure that I work and keep my mindset one of belief and positivity so that I am
much more in a position to do this work and make a difference in people’s
lives. Because the moment I lose my belief in people, then I lose my ability to
be effective at asking people questions that will lead towards change. Um,
these things are so important. Look like if you’re watching this video, you are
probably interested or at least mildly interested in solution focused brief
therapy, but you like if all you do is learn the techniques of solution focused
brief therapy, um, you haven’t really mastered it yet.

Like there’s, there is something underlying a, this
approach and for me that that is very much the way that you, you think about
the person that you’re working with. And, um, I just want to share with you how
important that is. And I want to make it clear that like, we have a
responsibility to do some work to make sure we’re thinking of people through a
positive lens and capable of change. And I, and I think at no point in human
history has it been harder to do that than it is now because of social media
and because of the 24 hour news cycle and because of these trying times that
we’re living in. But I think that makes it more important that we think of
ourselves and think of of humans and think of change through this particular
Lens. Not less, just because it’s harder.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. In fact, I think we
should take that challenge on and, and do this work. So, um, thank you for
allowing me to share this. Like I, I really think this is important. So again,
like question or in fact my challenge to you is to do something routinely,
habitually. Um, when you feel your spirit taking a hit to do something, to lift
yourself back up and, and to do something to make sure you are always thinking
of people through the proper frame. Um, because it not only is a good for us,
it’s good for our clients, it is good for our work. Like, in fact, I’m not sure
how our work can take place without this belief. And, um, I’m hoping that that
you can take that on because I think we needed, and I think there’s never been
a time more where this is never necessary. So thank you for watching this
video. I really, really appreciate it. Um, give me a life. Give me a share. I
mean, this is a really important message. I really appreciate it. If you share
this on your social media platforms, never ever forget that you are always just
one question away from making a difference in someone’s life and stay hopeful.

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