The In-between Words Matter

Posted by Elliott Connie - August 16, 2019 - Solution Focused Therapy - No Comments

The most commonly asked question in Solution Focused Approach is “what else”, and yet we don’t often talk about how to ask this question effectively. That’s what this video is all about.

the most frequently asked question and all of solution
focused brief therapy is what else. But I want to make this video to explain
the importance of the what else question and uh, help you guys make sense of
why the, what else question so important and how to ask it in a way that makes
it more efficient and more effective for people. So the reason why we ask what
else questions so much. Cause solution focused. Brief therapy is not
description as about details. And oftentimes it’s not the first response to
client gives you, it’s the seventh or eighth. So if I say, so I suppose we woke
up on a day when you were at your most best, best, best, what’s the first thing
you would notice? Some people say you don’t have to be smiling. What else? I’d
be happy. And what else? You know, you really, really got to parse out these
details, but one of the things that I want to highlight for you is it’s not so
much the question, what else?

It’s the questions in the words you put around the
question that are so important. Because I would never ever talk to a client.
Just say what else? What else? What else? What else? You have to use words to
communicate to your client that you heard them and then use words to vary and
package the question. So it feels like a conversation like it should always,
psychotherapy should always feel like a conversation because clients want to
participate in a conversation as opposed to having therapy done upon them. They
want to participate in an actual conversation. So if I say to a client, so
suppose you woke up on a day when you’re at your best, what’s the first thing
you would notice? And they say, Oh, I’d be, I’d be happy. I might say, okay, so
you’d be happy. Would you be pleased by that? Yes, I would.

What else would you notice? So you see her and put all of
these words around the what else? Question to make it feel like a conversation.
Because if I just said, oh, if they said they’d be happy and I said, what else?
I’d be smiling when else. And it makes it feel like an interrogation. It makes
it feel like their previous response was not sufficient and you are looking for
the right answer as opposed to just building a detailed picture, building a
detailed story in a way that would help the client move on towards their future.
Know this is really important because you know we have been teaching, I’m here
at the brief summer school in London and we’ve been teaching, they’ve been
teaching here for 30 years. I’ve been teaching with them for eight or so and
people have misunderstood. When we say ask, you know, 10 what else’s that we’re
just literally saying what else?

What else, what else, what else, what else, what else? But
we’re just really saying get more detailed and get to the 10th layer of detail,
15 layer of detail, but you still have to use your conversational skills so the
client feels like they’re participating in a conversation and not an
interrogation. So use this skill. It’s valuable. It’s the single most
important, frequently asked questions, solution focused world. Thank you. Watch
this video. Give me a like, give me a share. Join my youtube channel, click the
bells. Who get notifications head on over to you know what it
is. See ya.

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