Healing Requires Accountability

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I’m just going to be honest, I’m having a little bit of a challenging week. What’s happening is my home is being renovated and it’s taking a lot longer than expected. So I have been displaced and have been living out of backpacks and gym bags and suitcases and not knowing where I’m going to be each day, because each day it’s like, I might go home, and it’s just turned into like a mentally kind of uncomfortable place.

I’m someone who’s very routined. I’m very like, I want my own space. So this has been a little bit of a challenging week, but let me tell you why that’s relevant, why I’m talking about it now in this video, I’m staying most of the time here with my Aunt, my Aunt Lynnie, who’s one of my favorite people on earth. I mean, you guys who’ve been following my story know, she’s a big part of my life. And, but the thing is like, she’s one of those people that just watches the news 24/7, like Lynnie just watches the news, it’s all she does. She watches the news,

watches the news, watches the news. And this is a week where if you are watching the news, there’s just crazy stuff going on in American politics. It’s like a 24 hour cycle of crazy American politics. Literally it’s like every five minutes, like breaking news. And there’s this other thing that comes out. So hanging out with my Aunt, I was watching the news with her and I saw something that I thought was interesting and it made me think a bit.

And what I saw was, so a lot of the Congressmen and Senators and Congresswomen and Senators are voting on whether or not to impeach President Trump, which they did do. They impeached President Trump. And I listened to a few people that were against the impeachment, talking about how the country needs to be focused on unity and healing. And their opinion was the impeachment was anti healing and unity.

When I thought about that for a while, I thought about this, this word healing for a bit. And I thought, you know, what we do as mental health professionals is help people achieve healing. And one of the things that is very much connected to healing is justice. One of the things that’s very much connected to healing is accountability. In fact,

I would go as far as say, you cannot have healing without holding people accountable. For example, I work with couples all of the time I work with couples. When I’m doing therapy, you know, at least half my practice, most times more, are couples therapy. And infidelity is a big reason that people come into therapy. And oftentimes like the thing that both people want,

the perpetrator and the person who was victimized by the infidelity, they want healing, but they overtly talk about, I can’t have healing without, without my partner knowing how bad they’ve hurt me. And I can’t have healing without my partner being held accountable for what they’ve done. And I can’t have healing without my partner making amends for what they’ve done. And I mean,

I’ve been doing that for, you know, 15 years working with clients and they want healing and they are aware, I can’t have it unless there’s some accountability and some making of amends happening. And as I watch what’s going on in the Senate, or Congress actually, listening to people debate upon like, what do we do in this impeachment? And they say things like, you know, this impeachment is further divisive.

They are actually breaking the rules of healing because actually holding someone accountable for something they’ve done wrong is a part of the healing process. So as we watch this unfold on a global scale and on a national scale, I just, it’s really time to go to set politics aside and just realize healing requires accountability. And that’s what this process is about.

You know, we do Solution, Focused, Brief Therapy, and some people misunderstand this approach. It’s like, we don’t talk about problems. We do talk about problems, but we talk about problems with confidence that we can get through them. We talk about problems without focusing on the symptomology of talking about problems. We don’t allow the talking about problems to overshadow our belief that we can deal with it.

You know when I watched what’s going on now? I just think, you know, this is really difficult, but I know we can get through it. And one of the ways that we’re going to have to experience healing is the people who have done wrong things are going to have to be held accountable.

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