How Valuing Differences Can Make the Difference - Elliott Connie
  • Thanks to
SFBT Moments

How Valuing Differences Can Make the Difference

February 9, 2019
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLgCn5Ge7ok[/embedyt]

[Sassy_Social_Share]

While attending the conference that I host each year, I was about to listen to a lecture about respecting the client, power, privilege, all of those things that cause our clients to accidentally feel judged or unheard. That lecture inspired this video, which is all about the beauty of difference.

So I’m here at my conference that I host every year, uh, the SFU conference. We’re hosting it in a place called Taos New Mexico. And Mexico is a very, very special place. So one of the things that makes it so special is the Taos Pueblo is the longest place where first nations people have been living continuously in the world. They’ve been on this land for thousands of years. And um, I went and I met with a woman from the Taos Pueblo last night I was, I was at a place called the gorge, which is a beautiful, amazing kind of natural thing that happened millions of years ago perhaps with the ground split and it goes down almost as far as the eye can see. And uh, there was a woman there from the Taos Pueblo selling things that she had made crafts and jewelry, just these beautiful things. And we started talking about her culture and her culture values.

And she told me at one of the things she does to keep her house positive and keep the negative energy out of her house is she does a sage smudge every other day. To get the negativity out of her house and it got me to thinking like I’ve never done a sage smudge in my life. I’ve never known anybody did the sage smudge and one of the lecturers here at the conference talked about the importance of using solution focused brief therapy with people from other cultures and by the way everyone is from another culture and not making value judgments on what they do. Just accepting people for who they are and asking questions in a solution focused way to help them become a better version of who they are and it just got me to thinking how often we accidentally make value judgments and we talked to people as if their conduct is wrong.

Just in our field and psychotherapist. I was like, their conduct is wrong and thus we must change it as opposed to help people become the better version of themselves. As I was talking to that woman, she introduced me to the. To the native names of her children. She told me the native names in English ever children. I mean, it was an amazing experience and I couldn’t imagine. I couldn’t fathom wanting to make that woman any different. I mean, she was beautiful, she was amazing. She was touching a and she was, she had her own practices on how to be and stay positive. Um, and it’s not my job to change her. It’s my job to help her become the better version of her. It’s my job to help her be what she’s best hoping for. And I think it’s really important to remember what our job is when we go into these psychotherapy roles because I promise you, you’re going to hear things that are different, unusual and odd when you listen to your clients, but never forget it’s not your job to make people normal. It’s your job to make people the better version of themselves. So, uh, I got to go. Got To kickoff the final day of this conference, but thank you for watching this video. Please like, share, subscribe, help me spread the message. Always leave a comment and never forget you were always one question away from making a difference in one’s I’ve see you in the next video.