It Takes A Village - Elliott Connie
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SFBT Moments

It Takes A Village

May 11, 2019
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrCWtmhNPHY[/embedyt]

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No one becomes a success or gets through difficult things without the support of someone or something. The old saying it takes a village is true and the focus of this video is how this idea shows up in Solution Focused work.

When I was a young student pursuing my undergraduate degree while at university, uh, I had a difficult thing come up. So, um, something happened. I actually don’t remember what it was, but, uh, I had lost my funding, uh, for an entire year of school. Now I don’t come from a family of, of a ton of financial resources and I was getting financial aid from the government to help me pay for my university here in the United States has a very common thing. Uh, but I had lost my funding, I lost my financial aid and lost my scholarship for a year. Uh, it was a technicality, something about the paperwork, whatever, doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. That’s not the point of this story. Um, but I lost that funding and I was really terrified. You know, I was two years in to university and, um, I had no earthly clue how I was going to pay for it.

And my aunt, uh, one of my aunts, my aunt Marilyn, my Aunt Lenny, we call her, uh, she heard about what had happened and she called me and she said that she would like go into debt. She would like get a credit card and pay for my year of college with the understanding that when I graduated I would pay her back. And, uh, it was an amazing thing that happened because I was able to continue my college, graduated from university, paid my aunt back, uh, went on to get a graduate degree and, and you know, I’m now a professional counselor and I write books and I’ve traveled the world lecturing and I have my own private practice and, and all the things associated with it. But when I look back, I realized that none of that would’ve been possible had my aunt Lenny, not stepped in and done this thing to make a difference in my life.

This has been a profound weekend because I’m standing here in a place called Breda, uh, um, in the Netherlands just outside of Amsterdam. And my aunt came with me on this trip, on this teaching trip where I taught for two days and she got to see like the return on her investment. Uh, that was almost 20 years ago. And I’m sitting here thinking that it’s mother’s Day. And, um, there’s an old phrase that it takes a village. Well, I am the result of a middle of a village. Like it, it takes a village. And many, many people have gone in, uh, have, have put in to my success and to outcomes in my life. And on Mother’s Day, I can’t help but think of all the things that my mother did. My mother, Jeanette, Connie, I wouldn’t be here if not for her and all of the people in our lives.

And, and when I think about that, I think of that in two contexts that are relevant in the solution focused world is number one, all of our clients have resources and people and, or things in their life that inspired them or supported them to help them get through tough times or accomplish tough goals. And the other thing, and this is kind of more of a professional way, but when we go about the task of trying to master and learn solution focused brief therapy, you just can’t do that alone either. It takes a village, it takes a community to be connected to, to really grow and hone your solution, focus skills, any other mastery. Just like any other thing where we’re going to become an expert in and, and uh, proficient and effective. You can’t do that alone. You need help. You need support, you need guidance, you need camaraderie.

Um, you need the community. You need to, to feel like you’re part of the village. Um, that’s why like I, I, I created an online community so people could join it and be a part of the village and be a part of the community and get the support and guidance and feedback that is necessary to accomplish certain levels of success. And it’s also why I want to take a moment on this mother’s Day 2019 to thank my mother, Jeanette Connie, to thank my aunt Marilyn Hellum and to thank all of the mothers out there. And all the supporters out there that believe in your children that believe in their growth, even when they’re having tough times and they don’t believe in themselves. Um, success would not be possible without the your wonderful support and without you doing the things necessary just through acts of love, kindness, and selflessness, selflessness.

So I want to say thank you and I want to encourage all of you watching this video to, um, be a part of the solution focused village and understand that one of the things that makes this approach tricky is it’s very difficult to do on your own on an island. You need to have support and guidance and be a part of the community that’s also growing their skills. So what I want to ask you to do is go find, you know, go hug your mother and go compliment a mother and go find a mother who needs to hear positive words about what she’s doing because they’re changing so many lives, uh, through their acts of motherhood and on Mother’s Day 2019 I want them to feel appreciated and always know it. So thank you for watching this video. Please like share, subscribe to my Youtube Channel, head on over elliottconnie.com I’ve got loads of videos and resources there that you can learn from and enjoy and never ever forget that you are just one question away from making a difference in someone’s life.