Navigating Past the Haters

So I’m starting to notice something developing in my life, something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s something that I’ve seen happening to other people and I’ve never seen it happen to me. And it’s people like hating on you. You know, there’s something about success that breeds jealousy, envy, and hatred. And I want to talk about that today because I think, one of the things I love so much about the work that I do in Solution Focused Brief Therapy, is like, people feel better after having a conversation about their hopes, about their resources, and about what’s good about them. And like, I really think that’s what we should be doing as clinicians, and it’s also what we should be doing as like citizens on this earth.

But like, something happens when you start succeeding. And I am not the world’s most successful person, like to be clear, but I’m probably the world’s most successful Solution Focused Brief Therapist. And, and people hate, like they send me messages of hate and I see them like, you can see who’s clapping and you can see who’s not. And there are two things I want to say about this.

Number one, it takes no energy at all to be kind and it actually makes your life better. So being kind isn’t just good to the other person. It’s good for you too. So I can’t understand, like, why wouldn’t we be kind and support people because it comes back on us and it makes our lives better. And the other thing is we need to,

We need to recognize that, like, to behave in this way makes the world worse. And we need to do things to make the world better. So not only is it like it, it’s not good for you to engage in such negativity, but it’s not good for the world. It’s not good for the community that we live in. And we’re all trying to build and we all live in a community together.

I have friends that are big time celebrities and like I was talking to one of them the other day about like the platforms that we use on social media. These guys are exposed to literally millions of people and they’re saying all these negative things and it gets in their heads and, and causes angst.

And I’m sitting there thinking like, why do we do that? Like, if you don’t like something on social media, just keep scrolling. Like, why do you feel the need to stop? And not just criticize, but like attack and insult? It’s crazy. And as I am like growing and achieving that level of success and, and having celebrity, it happens to me.

And I mean, there’s people I don’t know, they don’t know me, but they’re incapable of scrolling by and they need to say horribly negative, judgemental, and insulting things and I just don’t understand it. So what I realize is, number one, we need to do better just as people. Like let’s just be more committed to being kind to the people around us.

Number two, It’s become increasingly important to me, and I want to share this with you because I think it’s important to you as well, to surround yourself with people who clap when you succeed, to surround yourself with people who are really meaningful and who really celebrate you when you are victorious.

Like there’s this old phrase that it’s lonely at the top. And part of the reason that that’s true is because not a lot of people experience that level of venom and it’s now kind of becoming my reality and I don’t see that changing. So make sure you surround yourself with loving, caring, kind people that support you and that clap and celebrate you when you win, because that’s the only way to kind of get through this stuff.

So this is my plea. I’m gonna use this opportunity on my blog to plea. Let’s be kinder to people even if you don’t understand what they’re doing, even if you don’t like what they’re doing, let’s be kind to people. And number two, pay really, really extra attention to the support system you build around you because those people really matter and they help you navigate this difficult world.