SFBT Is Not a Lifestyle, It’s What We Do

Early today I had the wonderful opportunity to talk to my good buddy, Chris Iveson. I got to interview him for a conference. And one of the things that came up was so important, I wanted to make a video about it, and that is Solution Focused Brief Therapy, not being a lifestyle. It’s actually what we do.

For as long as I’ve known him, Chris has referred to Solution Focused Brief Therapy or doing the work of Solution Focused Brief Therapy as similar to driving. Like anyone can do it, and it’s an action. While you’re doing it, you’re doing it. And when you’re not, you’re not. It has become a very hot topic in the Solution Focused world. And in my opinion, it’s an oppressive action.

This woman named Thorana Nelson, whom I’ve had some issues with because of the way she conducted herself. And she would oppress people, people like me. And she would say I was just being Solution Focused. And the tenant she was using is when like in Solution Focused Brief Therapy we say, if something works, do more of us.

So basically what she was saying was, the organization Elliott, that you want to be a part of, it works like this, so you can’t be a part of it. And you have to ask yourself when we say Solution Focused Brief Therapy, like when something works do more of it, we have to ask works for whom? Because it was working for people that look like the Thorana Nelson and not working for people who look like me.

So Solution Focused Brief Therapy really is an action. It’s something that I do. It’s an occupation. It’s a skill. It’s a task. It’s a craft. Just like driving, while I’m doing it, I’m doing it. And while I’m not, I’m not. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I put stuff on social media and people in the comment section will ask me Solution Focused questions.

I didn’t invite you into that role in my life. I didn’t invite you to be my question asker. And part of Solution Focused Brief Therapy is the client has to give us permission to ask them question. One time I put on social media that will concern with gun violence in America. And someone said, what are your best hope for gun violence? What kind of question is that?

I didn’t ask you to be my Solution Focused question to asker. I didn’t ask you to use my platform to make this point. We have to accept that this is a task we’re doing. While we’re doing it, we’re doing it. And we’re doing it well and doing it the best that we can. And then while we’re not, we’re not. There’s no Solution Focused lifestyle.

Just like there’s no driving lifestyle. while you’re driving, you’re driving. While you’re not, you’re not. Shout out to Chris Iveson for reminding us of that today.