Staying Hopeful

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjkjgZZxxcg[/embedyt]

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We are living in an era when staying hopeful can be a challenge. In fact, almost on a daily basis I come across some news or story that serves as evidence of how cruel humans can be towards one another. In this video I talk about how to stay hopeful and why it matters.

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I’ve been having a, a really, um, kind of deep thought within myself for the past a little bit here. Um, it’s been challenging. Right. So I’m gonna I want to ask you a question. The question I want to ask you is, what are you doing to keep your, your, uh, belief in people alive? And I, let me tell you kind of what I mean by that. So recently, just past couple of days, I saw in the news that, um, there was a, um, a new story about, about the little mermaid. They’re gonna rerelease some sort of live action show or whatever it is. And the lead character they had chosen was a brown skinned woman. And, uh, a bunch of people were just completely up in arms about it. And the way I found out found out about this, I mean, I don’t care who plays a little mermaid, that stuff is so far off my radar.

I can’t even tell you. Uh, but I logged onto Facebook and one of the most vile disgusting memes I’ve ever seen. Uh, with, uh, Ariel being depicted with stereotypically exaggerated African-American features, uh, propped up on a watermelon and instead of a, a seashell. And I was appalled and if I can be honest with you, uh, this is not new or unique. I’ve been this appalled, um, before, and I’ve been this appalled recently and I feel my kind of belief in people and humanity taking a hit, like, like I can feel it, you know, I struggle with it, um, given some of the things that have happened in recent times. Um, but it’s really important to me that I counterbalanced that and that I sit and remember, you know, the, that the, the good pitch. Cause social media might make those negative interactions more in my face and even louder.

It doesn’t mean that they are, uh, that those people out number the goodness. And it doesn’t mean that human beings inherently are not good or certain like capable of good. It doesn’t mean that that’s not the best of people. And the reason why I think this is so important is because if you’re going to practice psychotherapy, if you’re going to be a solution focused, brief therapist in particularly like you really have to believe that people are inherently good, capable of change and desirous of being their better selves. Um, that’s a really important thing. So that’s why I want to ask you, like what do you do to hold on that to that belief when the world throws all of these, uh, negative things at you to try and convince you that human beings are something other than good? I think I want to share this because I think people, I mean, I get emails and messages all the time and I think people just think I walk around with this naturally positive, optimistic nature and, and, um, way of going about myself.

And the truth is, you know, I’m good friends, a guy named Bill O’Hanlon who has described me as psychopathic, really optimistic and you know, and it’s true. I’m very proud of that actually. But I do want you to know that that takes work. And here in the social media era, when we live in these times where our differences are highlighted more than our similarities, we’re our mistakes go viral and not our awesomeness where our flaws, uh, somehow get a bigger microphone than our superhero traits. Um, you know, I, I’ve been kicked in the stomach by, by some of these things. I mean, as a record this now you got this like feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I spend my day, um, well just thinking about all the wonderful people that I’ve met throughout my, my work and all of the people who have allowed me the pleasure of being their therapist and being present as they work to change their lives and overcome their flaws and become their, their better selves.

And I, and I, I sit and purposely seek out the amazingness that human beings are. I actually keep a folder of all of the wonderful emails and supportive, uh, interactions that people have sent me in and it’s time like this and I go read them. And it reminds me that the human spirit is, is good and worth fighting for. And in doing so that I have a responsibility to make sure that I work and keep my mindset one of belief and positivity so that I am much more in a position to do this work and make a difference in people’s lives. Because the moment I lose my belief in people, then I lose my ability to be effective at asking people questions that will lead towards change. Um, these things are so important. Look like if you’re watching this video, you are probably interested or at least mildly interested in solution focused brief therapy, but you like if all you do is learn the techniques of solution focused brief therapy, um, you haven’t really mastered it yet.

Like there’s, there is something underlying a, this approach and for me that that is very much the way that you, you think about the person that you’re working with. And, um, I just want to share with you how important that is. And I want to make it clear that like, we have a responsibility to do some work to make sure we’re thinking of people through a positive lens and capable of change. And I, and I think at no point in human history has it been harder to do that than it is now because of social media and because of the 24 hour news cycle and because of these trying times that we’re living in. But I think that makes it more important that we think of ourselves and think of of humans and think of change through this particular Lens. Not less, just because it’s harder.

It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. In fact, I think we should take that challenge on and, and do this work. So, um, thank you for allowing me to share this. Like I, I really think this is important. So again, like question or in fact my challenge to you is to do something routinely, habitually. Um, when you feel your spirit taking a hit to do something, to lift yourself back up and, and to do something to make sure you are always thinking of people through the proper frame. Um, because it not only is a good for us, it’s good for our clients, it is good for our work. Like, in fact, I’m not sure how our work can take place without this belief. And, um, I’m hoping that that you can take that on because I think we needed, and I think there’s never been a time more where this is never necessary. So thank you for watching this video. I really, really appreciate it. Um, give me a life. Give me a share. I mean, this is a really important message. I really appreciate it. If you share this on your social media platforms, never ever forget that you are always just one question away from making a difference in someone’s life and stay hopeful.