The In-between Words Matter

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The most commonly asked question in Solution Focused Approach is “what else”, and yet we don’t often talk about how to ask this question effectively. That’s what this video is all about.

the most frequently asked question and all of solution focused brief therapy is what else. But I want to make this video to explain the importance of the what else question and uh, help you guys make sense of why the, what else question so important and how to ask it in a way that makes it more efficient and more effective for people. So the reason why we ask what else questions so much. Cause solution focused. Brief therapy is not description as about details. And oftentimes it’s not the first response to client gives you, it’s the seventh or eighth. So if I say, so I suppose we woke up on a day when you were at your most best, best, best, what’s the first thing you would notice? Some people say you don’t have to be smiling. What else? I’d be happy. And what else? You know, you really, really got to parse out these details, but one of the things that I want to highlight for you is it’s not so much the question, what else?

It’s the questions in the words you put around the question that are so important. Because I would never ever talk to a client. Just say what else? What else? What else? What else? You have to use words to communicate to your client that you heard them and then use words to vary and package the question. So it feels like a conversation like it should always, psychotherapy should always feel like a conversation because clients want to participate in a conversation as opposed to having therapy done upon them. They want to participate in an actual conversation. So if I say to a client, so suppose you woke up on a day when you’re at your best, what’s the first thing you would notice? And they say, Oh, I’d be, I’d be happy. I might say, okay, so you’d be happy. Would you be pleased by that? Yes, I would.

What else would you notice? So you see her and put all of these words around the what else? Question to make it feel like a conversation. Because if I just said, oh, if they said they’d be happy and I said, what else? I’d be smiling when else. And it makes it feel like an interrogation. It makes it feel like their previous response was not sufficient and you are looking for the right answer as opposed to just building a detailed picture, building a detailed story in a way that would help the client move on towards their future. Know this is really important because you know we have been teaching, I’m here at the brief summer school in London and we’ve been teaching, they’ve been teaching here for 30 years. I’ve been teaching with them for eight or so and people have misunderstood. When we say ask, you know, 10 what else’s that we’re just literally saying what else?

What else, what else, what else, what else, what else? But we’re just really saying get more detailed and get to the 10th layer of detail, 15 layer of detail, but you still have to use your conversational skills so the client feels like they’re participating in a conversation and not an interrogation. So use this skill. It’s valuable. It’s the single most important, frequently asked questions, solution focused world. Thank you. Watch this video. Give me a like, give me a share. Join my youtube channel, click the bells. Who get notifications head on over to elliottconnie.com you know what it is. See ya.