The Power of an Open Heart

So there’s this, there’s a saying that says, if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far go together. And to be honest with you, I have always struggled with that saying. Not that I disagree with it, but to put it in action in my life. Because I’ve had trust issues in my life, in dealing with people that would later reveal themselves not to be the person I thought they were and to cause harm to me and violate my trust. And it doesn’t make it easy for me to open myself to other people. And this has been in my personal life, in my professional life, but I want to talk to you about the power of having an open heart. So you can allow that like, together we can go far thing.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been working on a professional board with a woman named Amanda Bushek. And, you know, I didn’t really know her when I entered into this board to work with her. I didn’t, I knew of her because she has been on this board of this prominent association in my field, for a really long time. But I didn’t really know her. And over the past year, our work was kind of superficial and distant a bit because we are in COVID and we haven’t had the opportunity to attend live events together.

But in working with this association in the past few months, there’s been some really important stuff that we had to get done. And I had to make a choice about like opening my heart and availing myself to this person who, who is the president of this association. I happen to be the vice president. And over the past few months, we’ve gotten so much incredibly important work done.

And I find myself thinking about this phrase, if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. And I think about how far we’ve come as an association that is leading the field of Solution Focused Brief Therapy. And Amanda is a wonderful leader, but more importantly than that, because I was able to kind of put all that shit aside and just myself available to her. She’s a wonderful friend.

And I didn’t know that at the beginning of this journey, but getting to know her has changed me has impacted me significantly in the past few months. I think about the times when I’ve been able to let somebody in like Adam and Anna and Alesya and Helen, Cecil. Like all these people that would come into my life and become really good friends and really good allies and, and really good supports to me. And I realized I had to learn to open myself, to be to them and be available for them as well. And I know that there were people out there like me. I am a better, stronger professional because these people are in my life.

I’m a better, stronger clinician because I availed myself to the love and acceptance of Adam Froerer and Chris Iveson and Alesya Courtnage and Anna Francis. And I’m a better professional because I’ve recently gotten to know and really connect with Amanda. And not only am I making this video, because I want to say, thank you personally to her, but I also want you guys to be inspired to realize you may have been hurt and violated and someone may have backstabbed you,

but there are people like Amanda out there that are capable of being your ally in helping you grow. And when you combine and get together, you go further than you would ever get before. But you have to develop the ability to have an open heart. You have to developed the ability to be vulnerable. You have to be available to the connection.

And if you want to master something like Solution Focused Brief Therapy, I don’t know anybody who’s become masterful with this approach without teaming up with a colleague that has become closer than a colleague. And I think part of that is because when we are together, we go further and I think that’s a good metaphor, but I also think it’s very accurate when we’re talking about skill building and something like Solution Focused Brief Therapy.

So if you want to go far in the field of Solution Focused Brief Therapy, find someone you can go together with. And even if you’ve been hurt and backstabbed, there are people like Amanda out there that are very happy to work with you and let you contribute to their life and they contribute to your life. And you’ll be shocked how far you’ll go.

I’ve gone way further than I ever thought I would go. And I’m going even further, mostly because of the love and care of people in my life. And I’m so thankful. So thankful. I’m so thankful for Amanda. I’m so thankful for all the other people, but I want you guys to know if you want to go far in this approach, find someone you can go together with. It’ll make all the difference in the world.