The Unlikely Grouping

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This week I taught an online training with 2 other people. This event was one of the most special events of any teaching I have ever done, in part because the 3 of us are one unlikely group. Thus, it almost never happened and in this video is why this matters.

this was a really remarkable week for me as I hosted an event that touched me more deeply than maybe any event I’ve ever hosted before, which I teamed up with Jacqui Von Cziffra-Bergs from South Africa and Adam Froerer here in the u s and we did an online training but how to use a solution focused approach with trauma. And um, what, what got me, what it got me thinking about was what I think is, um, a really powerful concept that we talk about but we don’t often talk about. And in this video I want to talk about it and that is diversity in getting ready for this presentation. I was the one working on the PowerPoint and I was going through, uh, like material and working on the PowerPoint presentation. And you know, Jacqui, Adam and I are friends, in fact, very, very close friends. And I always say there’s like a room between family and friends and Jacqui and Adam and myself.

We like, we like live in that room. And I thought maybe I have an old picture of the three of us and I’m going through old pictures. And eventually I found a picture of Jacqui, Adam and I, and I stared at that picture and I just thought, what an unlikely grouping of people, A white woman from South Africa who grew up in the apartheid era, uh, an affluent white man who grew up in suburban Utah and, and, uh, most of my life, underprivileged black male who grew up in, uh, urban areas, somehow teamed up and work together, work together consistently and quite well. And, um, people often ask like, how did you guys find each other and how do you work so well together? And how do you do the things you do? And the answer is always the same. It’s love. I genuinely love Adam and Jacqui.

They genuinely love me and they genuinely love each other. Our differences have become our strengths because what we’ve learned is when we respect our differences, then they start to like overlap. So things I’m not great at, Jacqui is amazing at and things Adam is not great at. I’m wonderful laugh and things. Uh, Jacqui’s, you know, super not great at me and Adam can cover for it. Like our differences have become the glue that holds us together as a tremendous team. And I think sometimes we’ve learned in our society to fear each other’s differences instead of embracing differences because differences become strengths. This is why diversity is so important. This is why it is so important. Recognize when you have a diverse environment, you have a strong environment. As long as in that environment, people learn to treat and view the issues that would normally draw them apart, pull them together.

When you learn to view your differences as strengths, then you can really, really affect change. And isn’t that what we’re all about as psychotherapists and solution focused helping professionals is we want to add affect change? Well, it starts with understanding that differences are not things to fear. They’re things to embrace. This goes true for our personal life. It goes through for professional communities and it goes true for our clinical work. I was just doing therapy last night with a, with a a couple and they wondered if they were so different that their relationship couldn’t work. And by the end of the session they’re saying, oh my gosh, I think our differences are the things that make us work. And in my head I was like, yes, that’s it. That was, that was the day after this, this event. I in my head, I’m just like celebrating it against these people.

Get it. What makes you different is also what makes you strong, if you can embrace it. You know, I’m so grateful that I met Adam and Jacqui and other people too. Um, that brought different things in my world because they’ve made me stronger than made me a better version of who I am. They’ve made me someone that I wouldn’t have been otherwise and I’m eternally grateful for those people. I’m eternally grateful for those lessons. And I think in the world we live in now more than ever, we need to be reminded frequently, consistently, loudly that what makes us different is also what makes us great. So please help me share this message. Click the little share button. Give me a like, give me a share. Help me reach as many people as possible. If you’re watching some youtube channel, click subscribe and click that little bell down below so you get notifications when I post videos. Head on over to elliottconnie.com Loads of free videos and materials there to help you learn and master solution focused brief therapy. And until then, I’ll see you in the next video.